Between Silence and Expansion - 2025
My raw reflections - shaped between 2016-2025
I don’t plan much. Not in personal life, not in work.
I move through life with edits, improvisations. Too many interests. Too many options. Sometimes it flows, sometimes it doesn’t. That’s just how it is.
What I bring is raw emotion.
And a constant need to gaze at meaningful understanding of connections - not transactional, not polished - but something real.
Its very rare for someone to understand this. Most of them don’t.
People are mostly predictable, in general, because they take every step in a very linear approach. For me, i love to witness truth from as much dimension as I can about them, not for my judgement but for the clarity it brings. I use contradictory efforts to understand abilities of self-authorship of an individual within my context, it often gives more insights in the way they reflect energies and when-how-where-whom they use it with what.
This is so important as it allows us to get to understand the real bond which will be unbreakable and unshakable.
I also do understand that this particular way of considering someone may impact the lives of people in a different ways, they might feel like being questioned and queried deeply, and for what? But without establishing the foundation right, it is also not great to move in chaos - in my personal understanding.
Well, City life never sat well with me.
For the last 8-9 years, I stayed away due to so many things that i saw.
In the farm, then in the mountains, playing with nature, flowers, sunrise and sunsets, unicycling, visiting temples and praying for no reasons.
Sitting in stillness, pondering over hundreds of things.
& Mostly in quiet conversations with myself.
I don’t know what I looked like to the world during those years - maybe something I can't describe even now.
All I know is, I have always been waiting for something. I kept my eyes and respect open for people with character, not for likeness or reputation and for an understanding that transcends from the limiting factor of human judgement on lots of things.
Yoga settled into my life not as fitness. Not as trend.
It came as a personal bond with divine, in April, last year in 2024.
That deep inward journey changed the direction of my life.
Ashtanga became my daily rewrite.
Every practice felt like a chance to start again — a chance to question, listen, find answers and to be in the nothingness, almost like a ritual.
(amidst the twinkling lights, remember how natural twinkling star resides above, it may seem same as artificial ones and of same stature, but in reality, it has much more meaningful presence than the others and stays afar)
But life - as it does - brought a storm.
A personal chaos that looked beautiful.
A deep inner shake-up for both the sides.
It’s taking time to process.
And now… somehow… I’m in the city.
Just for a while.
Destiny’s doing, perhaps.
Something wants to expand through me - I don’t know into what or where.
I want to create something vast - a space, a universe even - rooted in my inner experience.
Something that exists beyond body and sense-perceptions.
Something divine which can expand and flow through it.
Something untouched by regular impulses of desires of human nature.
My own inner voice say -
"It’s time to expand it.. a realm beyond sense-perception. A world that starts from yoga, deepens in the stillness, with no space and no time, with no flows and function"
And yes, I want to also continue my current stage of mortality to drive self.
Do something where soul and intelligence may meet but that’s not necessary.
I don’t have a clear plan.
But I do know this:
I don’t want to lose the inner kid or want my heart to be rigid.
I have received so much love and affection from genuine people, the mountains, from nature in different different ways.
I want to expand that love.
Because the realm that yoga opened inside me -
That’s the real frontier.
And I want to keep walking deeper into it.
~ theCuriousMonk